"Carnival" of people

Over and over again, I realise that the greatest appreciation or rather most attractive qualities in the human being are those that are not shown in public... We seek to be professional, receptive, approachable and social, however not always we are what we want others to believe... What disturbs me the most is people that tend to speak their minds behind your back... on the other hand, I am disturbed by my inability to simply ignore it... I am sensitive to any negative exposure and I know that the more "garbage"is sent in my direction, the more incentive there will be for me to try to adjust, compromise or question my attitudes and beliefs... I find it one of the greatest weaknesses in me, but "no can do"...

It is for one thing that I am certain off, I want to remain true to myself, as long as this feeling comforts me, I am stronger and able to face the "carnival" of people...